Who would ever guess that three vintage wicker baskets – one blue, one pink, one green, could cause such bickering in a family? Each year at Easter time, I’d climb the attic stairs and brave whatever menacing arachnids or rodents I had imagined lived up there. I’d find the box labeled, Easter Baskets, wipe a year’s worth of dust off the top and take the baskets downstairs to celebrate yet another Easter together with my family.
With such meticulous care, I’d make sure the baskets were filled as equally as possible with small toys, a few dollar bills, assorted jelly beans and heavenly “to die for” chocolate. Who wouldn’t love that? I’ll tell you who – my kids. Despite my heartfelt efforts to ensure equality for my little knee high younglings, the petty bickering and quarreling started before the cellophane wrapping and bows even hit the floor:
“Why does Heather always get the prettiest basket?”
“I think Tressa‘s chocolate bunnies are bigger than mine. Not fair!”
“I wish I had as many cotton candy jelly beans as Jordan got.”
“I think Rock’s your favorite, you ALWAYS give him the coolest stuff.”
It sounds childish now and was certainly childish back then – but are these reactions limited to young children? As adults, aren’t we guilty of doing the same thing? Honestly, how often do you wish you had someone else’s basket?
“I hustle more than she does, why is she making so much more money than me?”
“He isn’t nearly as talented as I am – why is his company so far ahead of mine?”
“Why am I always sick while all of my friends are healthy?”
“I gain weight looking at food; she eats whatever she wants and never gains so much as an ounce.”
“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” Oscar Wilde
Unfortunately, the sad truth is that comparing ourselves to others and complaining about our plot in life is a reality for so many of us. Are you peering longingly into someone else’s basket? Regardless of the reason why; albeit insecurity, a life-long habit, or having a disingenuous spirit, comparison is a thief and will only continue to steal from you. It steals:
- Your joy
- Your ability to live in the present moment
- Your purpose in life
- Your gratitude
Comparisons are never fair because we usually judge ourselves at our absolute worst yet somehow magically see others at their absolute best – stage ready with no imperfections. Romanticizing the lives of others creates an exaggerated warped sense of who we are.
So what’s the solution? It’s profoundly simply; focus on what’s in your own basket and embrace, enjoy and energize yourself with what’s inside it.
Embrace Your Basket
If you want to rise above your current level of thinking and discover your authentic self, you must fully embrace the contents of your basket – becoming very familiar with the gifts inside:
- Your Individual Strengths
- Your God-Given Purpose
- Your Unique Character Traits
You were created as an exclusive blueprint; there is no one else like you. Your talents, strengths, and purpose are woven inside your DNA; no one else can be you.
Next Step Challenge:
- Make a list of things you absolutely love to do. What do you feel like when you’re doing them? Pick one thing you love to do and incorporate it into your day.
Enjoy Your Basket
When you compare your life to others, you can’t fully enjoy what you have in the here and now. Life discloses itself in the present so don’t let it slip away; you’ll never get it back. You miss opportunities right before your eyes because you are longing for something else – an elusive butterfly. Living in the moment:
- Promotes greater self-awareness
- Reduces worry
- Allows you to build a resilient mindset
Next Step Challenge:
- Incorporate rhythmic breathing exercises into your daily habits. When you catch your mind wandering into the future or the past, slow everything down and stop multitasking. Use 2 or 3 of your 5 senses to bring you back to the present. Focus on what you can hear, see, touch, taste and smell.
Energize Yourself
Everyone is familiar with creating financial reserves. But have you ever considered intentionally creating energy reserves for yourself? When you know what’s in your basket, and live fully in the moment, you are able to start creating energy reserves. Leaking energy comes from the comparison trap and is a massive energy vampire. When you stop expending energy on things you have no control over, you:
- Experience a new sense of gratitude
- Build your reserves of emotional, mental and physical energy levels
- Add a sense of peace and calm to your life
Next Step Challenge:
- Choose 1 area that you would like to create reserves in: time, finances, energy, wisdom, love, etc. Think of what it would look like if you had a surplus of that in your life. Commit to taking 2 steps this week to build reserves in that area.
I have to admit, I threw my children under the bus as an illustration in this blog, but it was for a very noble cause – to help you appreciate your basket more fully. My children are all adults now and remembering their Easter basket stories still elicits playful jabs at each other as they recall their childish rivalries. All joking aside, there is something very powerful in children that we tend to lose as adults – our sense of child-like wonder.
Be curious not only about what’s in your basket; but be especially inquisitive about how you can start using your gifts to embrace, enjoy and energize your life with them. Breaking the cycle of comparison doesn’t happen overnight. But focusing on your gifts is a great mindset shift and certainly well worth the effort. When you are content with your authentic self, you’ll actually be able to savor and relish the toys, jelly beans, and the “to die for” chocolates of your life more fully.
Rita helps her clients:
• Embrace their true potential
• Change their limiting beliefs/thoughts
• Create Purpose
• Live Empowered, Confident, and Successful Lives
- Overcoming Pain Appraisal - April 1, 2024
- Overcoming Pain With Resilience - March 19, 2024
- Complementary Strengths Interview - May 31, 2023