Mental prisons come in various shapes, sizes and colors. Some may take the form of a deep, dark, foreboding old foe: fear. For others, the prison disguises itself as a bright shiny truth – but in actuality it’s nothing more than our own self-limiting beliefs masquerading as truth.
The irony of self-imposed prisons is that they all have something in common: a way out, an exit door that is fully lighted and open just waiting for you to walk out to freedom.
My son Rock has a batting cage in our backyard, as his brother Jordan did before him. As a matter of fact, we’ve had a batting cage in our backyard for over 21 years. It’s quite large; 12 feet wide, 30 feet long and 12 feet high. Last month something very odd happened -something that I’ve never witnessed in the 21 years of owning a batting cage. A bird got in it. Don’t ask me how – there are no holes in the netting, the netting drapes down to the ground and has an overlap of about 5 inches.
It was a beautiful Monday morning around 6am. I always wake up before Rock and take our dog, Valor, out to the backyard. I love this quiet time. I reflect on the things I’m most thankful for and mentally prepare for my busy day. That particular Monday started out to be no different but that would change real soon. The sun was rising in the desert – you could see the magnificent hues of the sunrise towards the east. As I was walking, I caught a glimpse of a bird in the batting cage.
I ran to the cage and immediately lifted the netting closest to the bird so it could escape. I don’t know the mentality of pigeons but this one chose not to fly to freedom. Instead it started desperately flying to the other three sides of the cage – frantically hitting the net and each time descending lower and lower till it was pretty close to the ground.
Well you guessed it; our cute little puppy saw opportunity and ran into the cage, leaped in midair and quickly sent the bird to birdy heaven. I was devastated at what I had just witnessed. So much for a few minutes of solace and serenity – Day 1.
Day 2 – same story.
Day 3 – repeat.
I honestly don’t know why but the birds’ family didn’t send out a memo- or snap chat the image of poor cousin Elmer’s funeral because this went on for a couple of days. By day 4, I took Valor out on a leash in our fenced backyard, just in case there was another bird in the cage. I was prepared.
Thank God the birds finally stopped getting into the cage. Maybe something clicked for them, maybe they had an “aha” moment and connected the dots. Since I don’t speak pigeonese, I’ll never know.
So what is your batting cage; your self-imposed prison? Is fear keeping you trapped? Are you frantically hitting walls when there’s a clear cut exit you can walk right through?
Here are 4 steps to help you get out of a mental prison:
1. Ask yourself the question: Do you want to get out? Many times people unknowingly reward negative behavior because it meets an unmet need – perhaps it’s a need for attention or a need to be listened to. Regardless of the root, staying in the prison keeps you in a victim mentality. Victims cannot be victorious.
2. Ask yourself a second question: What would it feel or look like to be free? Create a mental visual image of what freedom would mean to you. How would your life be different on the other side?
3. Put your most dominate negative thought on trial. Is there any truth to it? Would it have a leg to stand on in a court of law? Identify truth.
4. Limiting beliefs are expressed by the voice of the inner critic. Therefore your subconscious mind needs to be reprogramed. If you are being held in a mental prison because your dominate thought says, “I can’t do this, I’ll never be good enough.” You need to hit the delete button in your mind. Cancel that single thought with the truth, “No, that’s not true. I’ve had success before and I will have it again. I can do this.”
Every morning when Valor and I go outside and see the beautiful sunrise, I’m thankful that the bird family connected the dots and had their “aha” moment. I hope you do too. There’s nothing quite like freedom.
Rita helps her clients:
• Embrace their true potential
• Change their limiting beliefs/thoughts
• Create Purpose
• Live Empowered, Confident, and Successful Lives
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