The Toleration Purge: How to Reclaim Your Energy

“You can’t reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday’s junk.”

Stop managing it. Start eliminating it.

Here’s what I’ve learned from thousands of hours of coaching people: We spend an incredible amount of energy managing our tolerations instead of eliminating them. We organize around them, work around them, mentally budget for them.

All that management is exhausting. And it’s unnecessary.

Why We Keep Tolerating What Drains Us

Before we eliminate, we need to understand why we tolerate things in the first place. Usually, it’s one of three reasons:

1. Avoidance: We don’t want the discomfort of having to confront something or someone.
2. False urgency: Hijacks choice and replaces it with pressure, convincing you everything must happen now.
3. Unawareness: It’s become so familiar that it no longer registers. We’ve normalized it.

Be honest with yourself. For each toleration on your list, ask:

• Why am I putting up with this?
• What am I avoiding by ignoring this?
• What is this really costing me?

That last question is crucial. Tolerations aren’t free. They cost you peace, productivity, confidence, and time.

“Time is a commodity you will never get back.”

The Five Environments That Need Your Attention

Pull out a piece of paper and create five categories:

1. Your Home
2. Your Work
3. Your Relationships
4. Your Mindset
5. Your Time

Under each category, list 5 things you’re tolerating. Be specific. Not “my house is messy” but “the kitchen junk drawer is overflowing and I can’t find anything.”

Here’s where it gets powerful: Look for the pivotal tolerations.

The Domino Effect of One Bold Move

A pivotal toleration is the big one. It’s the one that, when eliminated, automatically resolves other tolerations much like dominoes falling.

Examples:

• The unreliable car you’re tolerating means you’re also tolerating stress, constant planning around it, and wasted time at the mechanic
• The employee who’s chronically late means you’re tolerating resentment, covering for them, and your own integrity being compromised
• The cluttered home office means you’re tolerating distraction, lost documents, and a mind that can’t fully focus

What’s your pivotal toleration? What’s the one thing that, if you handled it, would create a cascade of relief?

Your Action Plan Starts Now

This isn’t theory. This is practical work.

Step 1: Pick ONE toleration from your list. Just one.

Step 2: Set an end date. Put it on your calendar. Treat it like a non-negotiable appointment.

Step 3: Take the first action today. Not tomorrow. Today.

Maybe that means:

• Scheduling the difficult conversation.
• Hiring a qualified person who can help you.
• Decluttering the space.
• Setting the boundary.
• Making the decision you’ve been avoiding.

Step 4: Notice how you feel after eliminating just one toleration.

I guarantee you’ll feel lighter. More in control. More confident. And that feeling will fuel you to tackle the next one.

Imagine Your Life Without This Weight

What would it feel like to wake up tomorrow without the weight of these tolerations?

• Greater peace in your daily life.
• More energy for what actually matters.
• Freedom that comes from choice, not obligation.
• The confidence that comes from being in charge.

You don’t have to tolerate a life that drains you. You have more power than you think.

Successful people don’t just survive their environments; they intentionally create flourishing ones. They understand that elimination is often more powerful than addition.

What’s the one toleration you’re eliminating this week?

Rewire your thoughts, and you’ll rewire your reality.

P.S. – The most successful people don’t just manage their calendars. They eliminate their tolerations. They understand that freedom doesn’t come from doing more; it comes from tolerating less.

Coming Next: We’re shifting from elimination to transformation. I’m going to show you why change doesn’t happen through willpower or motivation. It happens in your brain, through the deliberate rewiring of your neural pathways. Real, lasting change is neuroscience in action. Stay tuned.